


Polar Opposites

by Macx



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-23
Updated: 2011-05-23
Packaged: 2017-10-19 17:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/203464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macx/pseuds/Macx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malcolm tried to remove himself from the almost painful grip, but Trip held on.<br/>"What do you want from me, commander?" he demanded.<br/>Trip's face suddenly changed. Not because he had called him commander. It was something else.<br/>"Nothin' that you could give me," was the soft reply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Polar Opposites

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Shuttlepod One, Oasis

 

 _"What are you going to do? Kill me?"_   
_"It's set to stun. I don't want to use it. But I will."_   
_"Put it down!"_   
_"Go to hell!"_   
_"Stop trying to be a hero. It doesn't suit you."_   
_"What would you know about being a hero? It takes nothing but a coward to crawl up into a hole to die."_   
_"Then go ahead and shoot me. But you better hope we don't make it, because if we survive, the first thing I'm going to do is bust your ass back to crewman second class for insubordination."_   
_"Be my guest! I could use a little less responsibility. Now get down here."_   
_"Who the hell do you think you are?"_   
_"Your armory officer, and perhaps your friend."_   
_"Friends don't shoot each other!"_

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed sighed deeply and ran a hand over his tired features. It had been forty-eight hours since he had woken up in med bay, alive, feeling warmer than in ages. He had dozed off after a brief talk with the captain. The second time Phlox had told him he was fit to return to his own quarters, though he would remain off duty for another day or two. And depending on the next physical, Phlox would either give him light duty or full duty. Malcolm hoped for a full return. He had too much time on his hands, thought about too many things.  
Like Commander Tucker. Trip, as he now called him. He had yet to really talk to the man, after their shared experiences, and after Tucker's threats. Not that Reed really took them all too seriously, but they needed to clear the air.  
Too much had happened.  
Malcolm scrubbed a hand over his eyes and tried to concentrate on the PADD. He was alone in the mess hall, which was no great surprise. It was way past normal dinner hours and except for maybe T'Pol, he didn't expect any visitors. Outside the viewport windows, the stars streaked past. He had hoped for the quiet serenity to calm his nerves, his mind, and to catch up on what had happened weapons-wise on the ship, but no such luck. He had been reviewing the same page over and over again, not understanding a word of it.  
With a disgusted snort, he dropped the PADD, rose, and walked over to the dispenser. He ordered a simple tea. Maybe it would help calm him, though he doubted it.  
Why had he revealed so much to the commander? He had talked about his insecurities, his inability to form lasting relationships with any of the girls he had met, and his fears. Why? Because he had believed they were dead? That there wouldn't be a rescue?  
Secretly, he had prayed for a miracle. The outside pessimism had covered this weak hope. Trip's remark about being the 'grim reaper' had hurt, but the engineer's plain disregard for his own life, his willingness to sacrifice his life for Reed, had hurt much more. The logic had been sound, but as Malcolm had said, he preferred being dead to being the sole survivor because someone else had made the ultimate sacrifice. His life. Especially someone he had started to change his opinion about, his feelings....  
Malcolm stared into his tea. Damn his feelings! He drew a shuddering breath.  
He didn't even know if they were returned, if Tucker was interested, if he was bisexual. Malcolm was and he had found his attraction to the blond growing with time. Now, after spending days cramped in close quarters with a man he wanted to have more than just a friendly relationship with, he was experiencing more and more problems in that regard.  
But any attempt to confirm, or destroy, his dreams and desires would probably end in a catastrophe. Then there was the problem of having a relationship with someone serving on the same ship. As he had told Hoshi once, when he had misinterpreted her attempts of conversation in the mess hall, it wouldn’t be appropriate. He pushed the balls of his hands into his eyes, sighing.  
The door to the mess hall swished open and Malcolm looked up briefly. He froze as he discovered that it was the person he had been thinking about. Trip walked toward the dispenser and got himself a glass of cold milk, then turned and let his eyes sweep over the semi-dark room, coming to rest on Reed. Their eyes locked and Malcolm swallowed heavily. Tucker looked tired, pale, with a faint shadow of a beard. Like him, he was still on sick leave and expected to return to full duty soon, but he appeared... like he hadn't slept in ages.  
The two men stared at each other and Malcolm found himself unable to tear his eyes away. Trip approached, the glass in hand.  
"You are up late," he remarked, voice a bit hoarse.  
"I could say the same, Commander."  
One eyebrow twitched up. "Commander? I thought we had agreed on 'Trip'?"  
Malcolm felt something inside of him shiver, but something else reminded him that the situation in the shuttlepod had been one of high stress. A lot could be said and done that was later regretted. "I'm sorry... I thought...."  
Trip slid into the seat and put the glass down in front of him. "You thought I was out of my mind?"  
"Something like it, yes. We were both drunk."  
"I wasn't drunk enough to say and do things I might not remember or regret."  
"Like turning suicidal and crawling into the airlock?" Reed winced when the challenging words were out.  
Trip's face turned serious. "I made a decision based on facts and logic."  
"Don’t go all Vulcan on me! You were ready to kill yourself!" Malcolm snapped furiously. "For me!"  
Those blue eyes rested on him, taking in his agitation and pain. "I wanted to give you a real chance of survival."  
"You took the coward's way out of a seemingly hopeless situation! You would have left me alone to face those last hours on my own! With your body in the airlock!"  
Malcolm's voice rose with every sentence. He hadn’t slept well lately, he was having dreams… and nightmares. Horrible nightmares about sitting next to the dead body of one Commander Charles Tucker III. Of being rescued and having to explain why the other man had died. He woke abruptly every time, exhausted, tired, and haunted by the images that lingered on. Anger took over and he glared at his superior.  
Trip let the rage wash over him, lowering his eyes to gaze at the table top. "I wanted you to survive, Malcolm," he stated again after a second.  
"You never even asked! You didn’t give me a choice! You assumed I'd be willingly to pay the price!" Reed whispered. "I'm no hero, as you told me! I couldn't live with your death on my hands!”  
“Malcolm, please….”  
“No!” he cut him off, the fury rising. “I’m the bloody security officer aboard this ship! It’s my job to keep all of you safe! I can’t do that when the chief engineer goes over my head! I knew you had a cavalier attitude to your life, but I never knew you had a death wish!”  
“I don’t. I don’t have a cavalier attitude to my life, nor do I have a death wish,” Trip replied, voice relaying his annoyance. “I went through all the options and it was the only way.”  
“You were bloody drunk, Sir! You couldn’t make a viable choice! Now if you'd excuse me...."  
Reed rose to leave, but a strong hand clamped around his arm. He shot the commander a challenging look.  
"No, I won't excuse you, Malcolm." The hold tightened.  
The armory officer gazed into the intense, blue eyes, swallowing his rising feelings, his inappropriate feelings.  
"Why?" he heard himself say. "Need a better reason to 'bust my ass'? Maybe you should bring the captain up to date on your little decision about my rank and behavior!"  
Oh Lord, this wasn't him talking, was it? But all his frustration had bubbled to the surface and he couldn't contain it any longer. He felt something for this man, and Trip had nothing better to do than to try and kill himself in some foolish attempt to keep Reed alive.  
"Yeah, I just might!" Tucker snapped back.  
"Well, be my guest!" Malcolm tried to remove himself from the almost painful grip, but Trip held on. "What do you want from me, commander?" he demanded.  
Trip's face suddenly changed. Not because he had called him commander. It was something else.  
"Nothin' that you could give me," was the soft reply.  
Reed froze. The words touched him, woke the need inside him, wanted him to act on his instinct, but he fought it down. Tucker was straight as an arrow. Not a man to consider a fling with a subordinate; a male subordinate.  
"And what is that?"  
What was wrong with him? This couldn't be him talking! How could he be so bold, so demanding? He had disregarded more rules in the last ten minutes than in all his career.  
Trip's eyes didn't waver from his. "You."  
He had to be hallucinating. He was still in the damned pod, still suffering from too much blood-alcohol, not much common sense, and the icy cold. Commander Charles Tucker III wasn't with him in this mess hall, declaring... what was he declaring?  
"Commander...?" he stammered.  
Trip inhaled deeply. "Forget it," he decided. "I overstepped my boundaries...."  
"Bloody right you have!" Malcolm growled. "But you jumped in it with both feet, so I want to know what you want from me! With me," he added softly.  
Now it was Trip's turn to freeze, his eyes widening.  
"Tell me!" Reed demanded again.  
They were still alone. Everything was dark and quiet, the ever-present hum of the ship the only sound. The stars were their only witness, and they were silent at that. Tucker swallowed once, looking like he was drawn between running and staying.  
"I want you, Malcolm," Trip repeated, running his tongue over his lips.  
Reed almost lost it at that. "Why?"  
"I've got no logical reason, other than that I dreamed of you for a while now... watched you... wanted you... and after the shuttlepod.... I was so damned scared! Malcolm, I..." Trip shook his head and finally dropped his hand from where he had been holding the younger man. "I didn't want to lose you."  
"So you decided to kill yourself?" Reed asked plainly.  
"No. I'm a coward.... I didn't want to watch you die.... while there had been a way to safe you."  
"And you thought I could live with your death?!"  
Trip closed his eyes. "I told myself that there was no way you felt anythin’ in return, that my death wouldn't touch you..."  
"You were wrong!" Malcolm interrupted angrily. "In both ways!"  
The blue eyes flew open. "You....?"  
"I have feelings, Commander Tucker!" the lieutenant hissed. "And dreams! Very erotic and intimate dreams! About grabbing you and kissing you senseless!"  
"And why haven't you?"  
"What?" Malcolm blinked in confusion.  
“Why haven’t you grabbed me and kissed me senseless?”  
"You are my superior!" he blurted. "I can't just... I mean... I didn't even know if you felt the same.... It would have destroyed everything."  
Trip smiled. "And with the knowledge you have now?"  
Reed swallowed. The knowledge he had now was that Tucker was apparently attracted to him. "Have you ever been with a man?" he asked carefully.  
"In what way? A kiss? No. A handjob. Yes, once. A long time ago. In bed? No."  
"Why me then? What makes you think I'm the one?"  
Trip looked at him, all serious. "I'd love to claim I know it has to be you, Malcolm. But I can't. I only know that I want you. Only you. No other male or female crewmember. You’ve gotten into my blood, my system."  
"And for how long? One night? Two? Maybe a few weeks? Till you run into a beautiful alien?" the armory officer asked, acid in his voice.  
Trip winced. "No. I'd like this to last. I want to think that we'll be together for more than just a night. Despite your impressions, I'm not into one-night-stands or casual flings, Mal. I want to play for keeps."  
"With a man."  
"With you."  
Malcolm swallowed. Here it was, the chance he had wanted, the man he had dreamed about. But dreams and reality were two different things.  
Don't be a coward now, he thought. Take the chance and see what it turns into. Risk something. Step over your own shadow.  
He had never had any luck with his past relationships. They had been doomed from the beginning because he hadn't opened up. To Trip he had. Thinking they were going to die, he had bared his soul, had made him privy to his insecurities and failures. Now it was time to use this opening....  
Reed gazed at the other man, studied him closely, taking in the hope in the blue eyes, noticing the same insecurities there. And he made his choice. To hell with appropriate. He took the risk.  
Malcolm stepped forward, grabbed the front of the overall and pulled him close. He pressed his lips against the other man's, clearly aware of how public this place was but not caring. Trip made a startled noise in the back of his throat, but he didn't pull away. Malcolm let the tip of his tongue flick over Tucker's lips and was surprised when they opened up to him. Hesitantly, unsure, but he let the lieutenant in.  
Reed closed his eyes, carefully stroking his tongue over Trip's, feeling it react, and his knees almost buckled when the commander suddenly decided to reciprocate with full force. Trip kissed him; really kissed him. Pouring everything he felt into it. Malcolm's hands were still clenched into the fabric of Trip's uniform and he felt the other man's hands on his hips, pulling him even closer. The kiss set his body on fire and only the need for air finally separated them.  
Tucker was breathing heavily, eyes alight, a light flush on his features. Malcolm was sure he looked the same.  
"You want this?" Reed asked again, slightly breathless, his heart hammering in his chest.  
"Yes," the blond answered without hesitation. "Just... not in here?" A wide grin lit up his face.  
Malcolm chuckled in delight. "Right...." But neither moved to separate. It felt to good, he thought. The warm, hard body pressed against his. He released his tight hold on the uniform and wrapped his arms around the other man.  
Trip raised one hand and let his fingertips ghost over the lips that had just kissed him. Reed let his tongue flick out over the inquisitive digits.  
"I want to take this slowly," Trip murmured.  
Malcolm nodded. "It would be my advice as well. You are inexperienced. I wouldn't want you to run scared, or hurt you."  
Trip hugged him briefly. "Want to relocate?"  
He chuckled. "Your place or mine?"  
"If you don't mind....mine."  
Because he felt safer there, Malcolm mused. At home. More at ease. It was better this way, too. He pulled back, stepping away regretfully as he caressed the man's cheek with his finger before letting his hand drop to his side.  
"Lead the way."

* * *

They had talked all night. Nothing else. Well, except for touching each other, exchanging kisses, caressing the partner without trying to arouse. The talking had been quite... revealing. Malcolm was astounded to discover a very complex, deep man behind the easy-going facade of one Trip Tucker. Of course, Trip hadn't gotten his rank as commander through pure luck. He was capable, he could be seriousness, he understood his job, and he was able to lead people. Malcolm himself had spoken about his family, his military life, his failed romances. So many preconceptions had fallen and he knew more would still.  
Now, hours later, they lay together on Trip's bed and Trip's hands drew idle patterns over Malcolm's shirt-clad back. Both were stripped down to either undershirt or t-shirt, and shorts. Reed smiled as he rolled around so he was facing his lover. He pressed a gentle kiss onto the willing lips, then the corners of the mouth, and trailed a loving path to one ear.  
"You don't sleep very long," he remarked.  
"Comes with the territory. Usually I have five to six hours of sleep." Trip grinned, reaching up with one hand to trace the lips that had just kissed him. "Never had a reason to wile away my time in bed."  
Malcolm laughed, running a hand through the short, dark blond hair. "I thought we wanted to take it slow."  
"We will." Trip caught another kiss, nibbling at Malcolm's lower lip, making him moan softly. "I just like the way you feel... in my arms, with me, in this bed."  
Reed felt his smile grow. "Somehow, extended sick leave sounds very nice all of a sudden," he murmured into the mouth that wouldn't let go of him.  
"Yeah."  
They kissed and nipped at each other for a long time, their tongues intimately dancing against each other. Trip's hands snaked under his shirt and Malcolm sighed in pleasure as those strong hands stroked his skin. Tucker shot him a questioning look and he nodded, then bit back a yelp as Trip kissed an exposed nipple.  
Damn, the man was no virgin, he knew that. He had been with women. But the hesitancy he had shown before was suddenly no more. Well, at least when it came to kissing, which he was damn good at. A moan escaped his lips and he heard Trip chuckle, the vibrations running across his skin. And down south.  
Malcolm grabbed his lover's blue undershirt and pulled it off, appraisingly looking at the well-developed chest. He ran a finger over the tanned skin down to the naval, and Trip drew in a sharp breath, coming up to rest on his elbows. Malcolm let his tongue follow the earlier path of his finger and Trip sucked in his stomach, gasping softly as teeth gently nipped at some skin, leaving nothing but a faint red mark that quickly disappeared. The commander watched as his lover kissed his chest and belly, then came to a stop at the waistband.  
Malcolm looked up. “Trip?” he asked quietly. "We don't have to go any farther. Only as much as you want. I won't force you in any way."  
"I know, Mal. But I want this. I want you. I just...I don't know how...” he trailed off.  
Malcolm ran a gentle hand down the muscled abdomen. “Do you trust me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Will you let me show you?”  
Tucker nodded wordlessly, giving his permission, and judging from the bulge that was forming beneath the blue underwear, he would have been hard-pressed to say no. Reed pulled the material away and Trip bit his lower lip as first air, then a careful hand touched his hardness. Fingers played over him, very gentle, always ready to pull away, and soft moans filled the air.  
“Mal…. Gawd!” he exclaimed as Malcolm experimentally changed the pressure and pattern.  
Reed leaned forward and kissed the slightly open lips, Trip meeting him eagerly.  
“Want to see you,” the engineer breathed when they separated.  
A chuckle escaped him. “Yes, sir…” With that Malcolm pulled off his shirt.  
Trip reached out and let a hand splay over the nicely developed planes, fingertips brushing over an erect nipple. Malcolm briefly closed his eyes, gasping sharply as the fingers flicked over the hard nub again. Trip chuckled when their eyes met.  
“Told ya I’m no virgin,” he teased.  
“I never said otherwise.”  
The hand ran down his chest and then came to rest over the similar bulge in Reed’s crotch.  
“Show me all,” Trip whispered.  
He pulled off his shorts and knelt back between his lover’s spread legs. Trip sat up and wrapped his arms around the smaller man, pulling him into a kiss while also sinking back onto the mattress. Reed groaned as their arousals touched. Trip’s firm legs wrapped around his thighs, keeping them together, and he involuntarily twitched, drawing a echoing exclamation from the other man. Malcolm growled deep in his throat. The kisses became more demanding, heated, like liquid fire, devouring everything. Without conscious thought, Reed moved against Tucker, who was pushing up to gain more pressure, increase the friction. A whimper escaped him, quickly swallowed by a hungry kiss.  
Neither could last long. Trip’s body knew what it wanted, and it wanted to feel Reed against it. It wanted to wrap itself around his lover and never let him go. Trip gave a deep groan of release, then yelped briefly as Malcolm bit his shoulder as he reached his own climax. Movement lasted, then finally ceased, the two bodies laying together, Malcolm atop his panting lover, held tight.  
“Oh gawd,” Trip moaned, drawing in a ragged breath. “That was…”  
Reed kissed the sweaty neck, licking along the collarbone, soothing the mark he had left there. “Yes, it was.”  
He grabbed a corner of the sheets and cleaned them off as best as possible, then settled down beside his lover again.  
“Mal?”  
“Hm?” he leaned down and caught Trip's lips in a gentle kiss  
“Did you just bite me?”  
Malcolm raised his head with an almost sheepish grin on his lips. “Yes.”  
“Oh.”  
“I… apologize…”  
The arms around him tightened and Trip swiftly rolled them around so he was on top. “Don’t you dare. I’m fine with it. I just hope Phlox doesn’t want me to undress for the next physical.”  
Malcolm chuckled, eyes sparkling. “It could be a much worse spot for a bite,” he teased.  
“Oh?”  
A slender hand grabbed one buttock and Trip involuntarily rubbed against the man below him. “I guess so,” he purred. A predatory expression crossed his features. “I’ll remember that for the next time.”  
“Wha….” Trip’s mouth swallowed the question and the two men lost themselves in another round of soul-searing kisses.  
They kissed for several long minutes, just enjoying the feel, the taste of each other.  
“Have you ever… done it?” Trip asked some time after they had separated and settled on the bed, the blond head on Malcolm’s chest.  
“You mean, have I ever been inside a man?” Malcolm clarified calmly.  
A nod.  
“Yes. And we’ll approach this matter when you are ready.”  
“Who’ll judge that?”  
“You.”  
Trip frowned. “Malcolm…”  
“You’ll know, Trip. It’s not an obligation. Don’t feel like you have to do it for me. This is about both of us feeling good. You and me.” Reed caressed his body.  
“I feel good with you,” Trip told him seriously.  
A warm smile lit up the Brit’s face.

* * *

Reed woke with a start, drenched in sweat, his breathing harsh and labored. His heart hammered in his chest and for a moment, he was completely disoriented. Looking over at the clock, he saw that it was 2:30 a.m. Weakly clutching at his head, Malcolm tried to push out the dream that he had had.  
Nightmare.  
The same one he had had since coming back to Enterprise. He could still feel the cold as if he had been physically inside this nightmare, again trapped in shuttlepod one, breathing his last breath. And looking at the deathly pale form of Trip Tucker, cocooned in a blanket that had been inadequate to warm him, his lips tinged blue. Completely still. No more life….  
Then he had woken up.  
His shoulders were tense, his hands balled into fists, and cold sweat covered his skin.  
"Malcolm?" a sleepy voice asked and he felt a warm hand touch his chilled body.  
Reed tried to get his breathing under control, but his body was trembling under its own accord, not giving him enough self-control. Reed screwed his eyes shut, a moan escaping his lips.

Trip had been sleeping lightly at the time the nightmare had struck. Malcolm had been twisting and turning for a while, muttering, his voice full of fear and denial. Then he had suddenly woken, panting, and now he sat curled up against the wall behind the bed.  
"Malcolm!" he tried it again, voice harsher.  
Reed blinked, his blue eyes dazed and pools of utter fear.  
"Trip?" he whispered, as if not believing he was really there.  
"Yes. It was only a dream."  
Malcolm inhaled deeply, pressing his fists into his eyes, shaking. "No.... nightmare....."  
Trip rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. "What was it about?" he prodded carefully. When Malcolm didn’t answer he took a stab in the dark. “The shuttlepod?”  
His lover nodded slowly, eyes still closed. “You were dead,” he whispered.  
Trip sat up and carefully rubbed one cool arm. “I’m not. It was a dream. I’m alive.” He pulled him closer into an embrace.  
Malcolm put up a token fight, then let himself lean against the other man. After a while of simply sitting together, just having physical contact, he quieted down.  
"I.... I'm sorry for this," the armory officer whispered, voice rough. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”  
"It's okay," Trip replied, running a hand through the dark hair. “It’s okay to be scared. Just remember that we’re safe. I’m here, with you.”  
He placed an almost chaste kiss on the bent head.  
Malcolm wrapped his arms around him, sighing. “I’ve been telling myself that since we came back to Enterprise two weeks ago, Trip. Until tonight, I thought I was over it. Looks like I’m not.”  
“Well, we’ll get you over it.” Another kiss, this time against one temple.  
“Thanks.”  
“Might just help if I keep staying with you at night, hm?”  
The Brit chuckled. “That might be a remedy, yes.”  
“Well, then I’ll see what I can do, Mr. Reed.”  
“It would be greatly appreciated, Mr. Tucker.”  
Trip continued rubbing some more warmth back into the smaller body. Malcolm fell asleep not much later, exhausted. He smiled and pulled the blanket higher to cover them again. Spending the nights with Malcolm would be nice. Actually, except for their very first ‘date’ and today, they had never spent the night together. He would make a point of trying to be there whenever his shifts allowed. Maybe it would cure the nightmares.

* * *

Captain Jonathan Archer watched his best friend pick at his food. Chef had outdone himself again and created an incredible dinner made up out of mixed vegetables, potatoes and steamed fish, with a sauce that was to die for. But apparently, Trip wasn’t in the mood for dying, Jon mused silently.  
“You want something else?” he asked. “Steak?”  
Trip looked up and Archer had to hide his laughter. His friend had been completely oblivious to the food in front of him, apparently thinking about something else.  
“What? No. It’s fine.”  
“Didn’t your mother teach you not to play with your food?”  
Trip grimaced as he looked a the mess of mashed fish and vegetables, a potato peeking out of the mix here or there.  
“Sorry.”  
“You’ve been awfully quiet ever since we left Leanna and her father,” Jon remarked.  
A shrug.  
Archer laid the cutlery down and regarded the engineer calmly. “What’s bothering you, Trip?”  
There was silence for a while, Tucker playing with his fork. “I’ve had some changes in my life lately. Still tryin’ to deal with them, Jon,” he finally said quietly.  
Archer met the troubled gaze. It was only them tonight; no one else. Part of the reason was that he had seen something change in Trip as of late. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but his friend was subtly different. Not in a bad way. Heavens. If anything, Trip had actually… grown? If that was the right word for it. He seemed to be balanced in a way Jon had never seen him. There was a sparkle in his eyes that couldn’t be explained. He was still the same old Trip in many ways, but something had evened out in him. As if he had found what he had been missing.  
Jon remembered a similar warmth and sparkle whenever Trip had met the ‘girl of his dreams’, but that had been a short-lived infatuation, the unique newness of a first date, of getting to know the woman in question. Nathalie had been the last lady-friend, and she had ended their relationship through a letter. It had hurt Trip, but something had healed the wound.  
Something or someone?  
Archer smiled briefly.  
“You know you can talk to me, Trip. Any time,” he offered.  
The engineer nodded. “I know that. You’re my best friend. It’s just… I’m afraid this might change things.”  
The frown was back. “In what way?”  
“I found someone aboard Enterprise. Someone I never thought of fallin’ in love, though. And it’s someone who returns the feelin’s and has done so for a while, before I even realized it.” Tucker twisted the fork between his fingers. “We finally got our heads out of our butts and got together.”  
“Well, good for you.” Archer grinned. That explained the change. He contemplated the man across the table. Trip in love? Had to be serious then.  
A small smile crept over the engineer’s lips. “Yeah. Very good for me. Actually, Jon, the best that ever happened to me in many ways. I didn’t figure it’d be so serious, actually. But in the last few months… hell, I felt a lot more than just… uh… attraction. This relationship means a lot to me. I don’t want to destroy it with a thoughtless action.”  
“Like telling me who it is?” Archer hazarded a guess.  
Tucker nodded, eyes filling with the plea to understand. And Jon did.  
“Whatever you’d tell me, it’s confidential,” he reminded his friend. “And sometimes it helps to have a friend to talk to.”  
“I know. It’s just so damn hard because… I’m afraid of what you might think of me… of us…”  
Archer interlaced his fingers and looked at the younger man. “Trip, we’ve known each other for how many years? Eight? You should know by now that I’m one of the most open persons there is. Heck, I got this job because I’m neither xenophobic nor homophobic….”  
Alarm flitted over the blue eyes. Bingo, Archer thought. Not a woman. A man.  
He raised an eyebrow.  
“What?” Trip croaked. “I mean… I know that, Jon!”  
“So?”  
“I don’t need to tell you since you seem to know already.”  
Jon rolled his eyes heavenwards. “Lord, help me, he’s a stubborn, southern cuss again.” He looked at Tucker. “I don’t care what you choose to do in your free time, Trip, with whoever. This… relationship actually did you some real good, my friend. I noticed. He’s good for you,” he added.  
Trip’s features softened into a warm smile. “Yeah.”  
“So, what’s the problem?”  
“The problem is that he keeps getting’ hurt in the line of duty. I know it’s his job and the other times I wasn’t nearly as… angry. But this time… if I had been faster, if I had been more convincin’, Leanna would have pulled the plug a lot sooner than she did. He wouldn’t have been hurt.”  
Archer nodded slowly. Trip hadn’t actually told him the name of his partner, but the man’s identity was crystal clear to the captain. Malcolm Reed. Polar opposites, if he had ever seen two men. But apparently not so opposite that a relationship couldn’t develop. And develop it had.  
“You did what you could. No one can demand more. Not even you.”  
Trip exhaled explosively. “He said the same. Even told me he had had worse. Damnit, Jon, he had a bruise the size of football on his back! Not ta mention the bruises all over his body from wrestlin’ with a hologram that tried ta take him out. All he says is ‘it’ll heal, don’t worry’. But Ah do!” His accent had thickened and to Archer it was a clear indicator as to how upset his friend was.  
“It’s natural to worry, Trip.”  
Another poke at the by now stone cold food. “Yeah. I know we all take risks every day. I realize that he’s the best at his job and I wouldn’t want anyone else doin’ it. But this time, I could’ve influenced the outcome.”  
“It happened and nothing can change it, Trip,” Jon told him calmly. “You’ll make everything so much worse pondering what could have been and might be. You should enjoy the here and now.”  
Tucker grimaced. “You two didn’t by any chance talk before this dinner? He told me the same.”  
Archer laughed. “Great minds think alike.”  
Another grimace. Tucker shoved the plate away. “I’m an idiot,” he sighed.  
Jon raised his brows as if to say ‘what else is new?’.  
Trip shot him a dark look. “I should call it a night. Thanks for listenin’, Jon.”  
“My pleasure. Tell him to rest when you see him. I’m not expecting him back until the day after tomorrow.” Archer shot his best friend a grin. “And don’t wear him out.”  
Trip rolled his eyes, but his grin was real. “Good night.”  
Jon leaned back in his chair and chuckled to himself when the door had closed. Oh, this would be interesting.

* * *

Trip winced in sympathy as his lover pulled off his long-sleeved shirt, revealing the bruised back and sides. Damn, there wasn’t a spot that didn’t look like it hurt. Malcolm grimaced briefly and tossed the sweater aside, then stripped out of his loose pants. He sat down on the bed and Trip’s eyes were drawn to the dark spot between Reed’s shoulder blades, the place where the phaser had hit him. Almost unconsciously he reached for his lover, gentle fingers touching the bruised skin. He placed a butterfly kiss onto the abused area and felt Malcolm stiffen briefly.  
“Hurt?” he asked, alarmed.  
“Not really.” Malcolm slipped into bed and Trip lightly wrapped his arms around him.  
Another wince.  
“Mal?”  
“I’m fine. Just sore.”  
Trip let his fingers ghost over the unmarked shoulder and collar bone. He placed a kiss onto the dark, wavy hair. Malcolm made a noise of contentment and relaxed against him.  
“Malcolm?”  
“Hm?”  
“The captain talked to me today.”  
“It’s rumored that he does talk to people now and again,” was the amused reply.  
Tucker snorted, threading his hands into the silky hair. “He knows.”  
There was a moment of silence, then Reed seemed to realize what his lover meant. He stiffened, but this time not from pain. “How?”  
Trip continued to caress the younger man. “Guess he has eyes. He knew somethin’ was different about me.”  
“And he immediately came to the conclusion that we are sleeping together?” Malcolm’s voice rang with incredulity and he pushed himself up on one elbow, looking at the blond. “Trip…?”  
“He offered an open ear for my troubles. Told him I don’t have any.”  
A sigh. “Except for the guilt trip?”  
The engineer briefly evaded the knowing gaze.  
Another sigh. “I thought we were over it.”  
“We are. I am. It’s just… Jon’s my best friend and he’s not homophobic. Told me again at dinner. I thought it might be good to have someone else know, have someone we can trust and talk to.” Tucker reached up and cupped the other man’s cheek. “Guess I once again made a decision without consultin’ our head of security, hm?”  
Reed kissed the thumb that ran over his lips. “Yes, Commander Tucker, you did. But I guess the head of security is okay with it.”  
“Really?”  
He leaned down, suppressing a wince. “Yes.” Malcolm kissed him gently.  
Trip answered the kiss, their tongues gently playing against each other, and Trip wrapped his arms around his lover to pull him tighter. Malcolm’s nearly hidden wince let him stop.  
“Trip…” Reed moaned in protest.  
“You’re still healin’, lover. I’ll make it up to you later.”  
“Promise?”  
A swift kiss. “Ah’ve always kept mah word,” Trip drawled  
Malcolm was asleep about thirty minutes later. Trip watched him, saw how the lines of pain evened out, and he smiled. He finger-combed the dark hair, then settled back. He enjoyed watching his lover, awake or asleep. The nightmares had stopped a while ago. Malcolm’s subconsciousness had finally accepted that Trip was alive and well.  
They had taken the next step in their physical relationship just a few days earlier, when Malcolm had shown Trip what it meant to be inside, what it felt like. It had taken Trip to a new height of pleasure and he still thought he had blacked out for just a second. Malcolm had chuckled and told him it was next to impossible, but he might have experienced something similar. Any way, Trip was looking forward to more, to what else Malcolm had to teach him.  
“Night,” he murmured and kissed the sleeping lieutenant on the forehead.  
He snuggled down next to him and slipped off to sleep as well.


End file.
